*Sigh*

Alright, so I ended up talking to him. And now, I feel like an idiot. So surprising, right?
He keeps hurting me...even when we're just friends...I don't know if it's because I still love him or something, but he doesn't even seem to act like a good friend to me. It's like, "ok, I demoted myself to just friends status," and he acts like he doesn't even want to be that. Even my just regular friends, not even my best friends treat me better than he does...

You know what I really need? Someone new. Someone who will treat me like I should be treated. Someone who will actually care.
I think I can find that person really easily. Especially at college. By the way, I move in on Friday! Yay!
Anyway, it's not like I can just forget about him or erase him from my life. I kinda want him to be a part of it, but the way he's been treating me makes me feel like I should just try to find a replacement (as if that's possible, but maybe...)

I think I talk too much about my love life. It's not like there's anything else that's going on in my life worth mentioning, really. I've been shopping lately for college. I hang out with my friends sometimes...I feel a lot better hanging out with them. It makes me feel like I can get over him...but whenever I'm not with them...a little bit more difficult.

He really doesn't understand my feelings at all. He doesn't understand that I get upset when he makes it seem like he doesn't want to see me, or doesn't like me. I'm almost angry at him for not trying...I think he just doesn't really know what to feel. He still talks to me...and makes a point to talk to me...but I can't detect any hint of him caring for me, other than that...

He said before that when he got into a relationship, he had to be serious about it. I feel the opposite way. I wouldn't want a relationship to begin seriously...I want something fun to turn into something serious. So, in college, I'm going to try and get into some good, fun relationships, and if something happens from there, then great. If nothing serious happens, I'm having fun anyway.

I know now that I will NEVER, EVER cheat on whoever I'm with. I know just how much it hurts when someone does that to you...and I would rather die than put someone through that pain.

I swear I'm going to try and make the posts happier. When I get to college, I'm sure they will be...
またね
美知子